2 Dec

After entering high school, i really wonder what is life.
Why am i here, for what purpose i am here, i also often think of dream, of the endless parallel world that exist. I wonder am i living in this world is a dream or not. I often just stare at the mirror, just who am i? Is this life a dream? Ah, i’m dazed.
Talking about life, i really want to end it. Well, i’m not joking. Once i tried to cut my wrist, but no, i remember a post from a website i really adore, the website is full of ‘living’ people. Really, they post a mission, about sticking a paper writed: ‘the life isn’t as bad as you think’.
i’m really touched.
Then, i did say i’m entering high school, right? It was stressing as hell. 3 test in a day, 4 consecutive days. The only thing that make me still coming to the school isn’t friend, its…. what again? i can’t find even 1 reason. Lol.
Me, isn’t a cheerful, easy-going girl. i’m quiet, afraid to talk. i’m anti social. i’m weird, nerd, dork, and whatever you called it.
I also wonder why am i that quiet? In elementary school i didn’t think i’m afraid of crowd. Maybe from middle school? Probably so. Back then, everytime i talk, i’m ignored. Well, my friend would disagree, but yeah that’s what i felt.
In home, i’m a rebel. Okay, hikikomori might suit it better. I lock my room, i never get out of it, i stare only to my computer, i draw in dark, i read alone. I get out only for school or meal or maybe courses.
Yeah, i draw. My style is manga. I have been drawing ever since……..i don’t remember. My drawing also has improved very very much! Lol, i’m not bragging, only saying what i think.
Excuse my bad grammar, and this post doesn’t end yet.
My manga collection in home is like, more than 100 volume. Also, also, after i start reading manga online, i guess 100 title isn’t enough.
Okay, what now? I want to tell you about my genre. Nowadays, i draw thriller. I don’t know why, but what i draw is, mutilation, psychopath, yandere, and so. In manga extracuricullar i went to, we were told to draw manga. Hell, i’m sure the only one who draw thriller is me.
Lately, i also active in a game called TinierMe. And guess what, in December 10th it will close. I was like, dafu*?! I have fun selling my art there, and it all end in 9 days. Well cursed you there.

So, i run out of idea now.
Maybe I’ll tell you about my birthday? Its on December 8th. Next week!!!
Okay, birthday have never been so special to me. Even my mother once forgot it. I remember it even now. How could she?! Ah, well, i’m not expecting a surprise or something this year. In the past year it went with only a dinner between my family and me, then a hand shake from classmate, or maybe just a post in facebook. This year, i wish for something.
Guess what?
Lol. i’m scared but yeah, it better end like this. I will be freed and well, i want freedom.
Lol, is this post long? i’m sorry for being too frank.
Thank you.

the forever wanderer…


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